8 Important Topics Every Couple Should Discuss Before Marriage

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It’s official—you’re getting married. But before you exchange vows and say “I do,” you’re going to want to have a discussion about some of the most important things in your relationship.

These include topics like money, kids, and where you both see yourselves in five years. But with so many responsibilities and so much pressure, you may end up glossing over these topics or not having the conversations you need to have. 

If you’re already feeling overwhelmed, you’re in good company. Many couples struggle to find the time to sit down and discuss important things. However, the consequences of not having these conversations can last well into your future. Make sure you have these conversations before you walk down the aisle.

1. Money

Money is controversial, no matter who you are. You will have different opinions on how much to spend on groceries each month, how many clothes to buy your kids, and how to prioritize your own desires. No two people have the same view on this subject. Some people believe that finances should be separate from love. They may want to wait to get married to reveal their budget to their spouse. Others are fine with discussing money right away. It’s important to find a middle ground that works for you and your partner.

2. Friends

This one is kind of a no-brainer, but it’s also kind of hilarious. You will have different friends than your partner. Some of these friends may not be great for you or your relationship. If you are dating a friend’s ex, for example, it’s important to talk to your partner about this. You should also make time for your own friends. This is an easy one. You can’t have a relationship without spending time with the person you love. Finding time for each other and your own friends is a crucial part of any healthy relationship.

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3. Communication

People often make the mistake of believing that communication is a sign of weakness. They think that if they don’t blurt out every thought immediately, they’re not communicating. The truth is that communication is not a one-way street. You should be communicating with your partner, just not all of your thoughts at once. What this means is that you shouldn’t be constantly trying to “tell” your partner what they should be doing. You should be teaching them and helping them to understand what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what you want, and what you don’t want. This is how you communicate with each other.

4. Conflict Management

We’ve all been in situations where we just don’t know what to do. You have two choices: fight or flight. Fighting is rarely the right option. It only ends in anger and more fighting. Flight is usually a sign of avoidance, which only leads to stress and resentment. The best thing to do in a conflict is to talk it out. This doesn’t mean yelling and screaming at each other. It means sitting down and discussing what happened, what was said/done, how you feel, etc. If your partner is being unreasonable, you can gently remind them that you don’t have to do things their way.

5. Kids

This is a big one. You and your partner will be raising children together. Whether you have one child or ten, you will have to navigate this journey together. You will fight, you will make compromises, you will have times of joy, sadness, and exhaustion… and you will have to do this for the rest of your life. You will have to decide how to raise your kids. You will have to decide what is most important to you and your partner as a family. You will have to prioritize. You will have to make sacrifices. You will have to love and teach your children the right way. This is hard. This is not easy. But it is necessary to have a discussion about it with your partner.

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6. The Importance of Love and Trust

Everyone who marries hopes that their union will be built on a strong foundation of love and trust. While there is no guarantee that either will always be present, you can talk about what your expectations are for continuing to build both. Although it is hard for most people to admit, sometimes love does fade. The same is true for trust. Whether you believe this is inevitable or not, talking about the possibility with your partner now can only help if the situation ever arises.

7. The Importance of Sexuality and Intimacy

Discussing sex in the early days of a relationship can be a little awkward, but it’s important that both parties feel comfortable talking about their sexual preferences. If one person wants to wait until marriage, and the other doesn’t — or vice versa — it can lead to tension later down the road.

8. Living together before marriage. 

While living together before marriage isn’t necessarily bad, it can be risky if one partner has become dependent on the other financially. Once they move in together, their finances are probably intertwined — meaning they may not be able to handle financial issues like losing a job without causing serious strain on their relationship.

Conclusion

Hopefully, the items we’ve listed in this article will help you make some decisions about your future together. We do believe that there are just as many things to be excited about as there are to be nervous about. It’s all a matter of keeping perspective and being honest with each other. And remember, communication is the key to every successful relationship, so talking openly and honestly is always the best way to work through any issues that may come up.

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